THERE ARE ALL THESE REALLY STUPID TEARS IN MY EYES AFTER READING TESSA AND JEM’S THINGY AND I AM NOT ALL RIGHT.
DAMN YOU, CASSANDRA CLARE. DAMN YOU TO HELL.
Except, not really. You’re extraordinary.
That was the absolute MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I HAVE EVER READ IN MY LIFE, DEAR GOD. I don’t even know where to begin. The love-making was like poetry. There was so much unbridled love and joy in that scene. It was overwhelming.
Jem has had 130 years of silent suffering. Tessa has lived through the death of everyone she has ever loved. Her husband. Her effing children. All her friends. She’s lived LIFETIMES and she is never desensitized to that kind of loss. To that pain. She and Jem have ever only had each other in their really distant way. The Jem-but-not-really-Jem way, I suppose.
Which is why the Blackfriars Bridge scene in the epilogue of Clockwork Princess had me sobbing hysterically. And how Tessa and Jem in City of Heavenly Fire had me sobbing hysterically. I mean, I don’t need to tell you guys the gravity of my Jessa feelings. I HAVE EXPRESSED SUCH IN SONG, FOR HELL’S SAKE.
So, okay. Cassie writes us this absolutely beautiful scene where Tessa and Jem go back to Tessa’s flat in London and they catch up and make love and my feelings were all over the floor.
It was dreamlike. PERFECT. They were laughing, they were reminiscing. They teased each other and were completely drunk off of love and lust and 130+ years of bottled emotions for each other. Pain, longing, love, joy, and everything in between.
I laughed reading this, not in a “HAHAHA! THAT WAS FUNNY!” the way I normally laugh at Cassie’s characters (because, admittedly, they’re witty and hilarious). But just because I know Jem and Tessa on such a personal level, as you guys do too, and because I’m so in love with them both that I felt every emotion they felt in this scene. I felt as liberated as they did, finally being able to be together.
I loved the part where Tessa mentioned how Jem’s kisses used to taste like burnt sugar and how now it was different, but still Jem. Representative of two different periods in their lives. Dying Jem, living off of yin-fen, versus post-Brotherhood Jem sprung to life by Jace’s Heavenly Fire.
I loved the urgency of it too, and how genuine the scene felt. Jem the awkward 130 year old virgin, cracking jokes. When he was like, “Maybe the Brothers had secret orgies that I wasn’t invited to,” I died. And Tessa, beautiful, patient, emotional, clever. My babe ;__;
And I love how there was mention of Will. AT THE END, THOUGH. Jem saying the greatest love he’s ever known being himself, Tessa, and Will. I lost it, man. Because it’s so true. Those three and their love for each other. Nothing compares.
JEM AND WILL’S KNIFE. THAT SCENE. War flashbacks to me sobbing over my book past 3AM, reading Will’s little eulogy over the bloody knife and nobody touch me.
I miss Will so much. I ache for him when I read The Mortal Instruments books, knowing Jem and Tessa are around but Will isn’t. And I feel Jem and Tessa’s aching for Will just the same. But their love is strong and steady too and the scene was too much for me. It was beautiful and sexy and emotional. SO MUCH SMILING THROUGHOUT THIS THING.
And I’m done. I just had to mention it.
Now where is that “Jem You Horny Beast” GIF that the fandom made back in the Clockwork Prince era? Let me see if I can find it.
LOVE YOU, CASSIE. THANK YOU FOR THIS LOVELY, LOVELY STORY.